


the last time (hold me close)

by erudipitous



Series: three times they kissed (and one time they didn't) [4]
Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aromantic, Asexual Character, F/F, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Lesbian Character, Nanny Ogg gives the best hugs I don't make the rules, Platonic Life Partners, Queerplatonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:21:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26888032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erudipitous/pseuds/erudipitous
Summary: Granny Weatherwax is going to die soon. Nanny Ogg thinks about their life together, Granny has a Realization, and they talk about stuff.Not tooth-rotting fluff (they're both too down-to-earth for that) but lots of quiet affection and platonic feels.
Relationships: Gytha "Nanny" Ogg & Esmerelda "Granny" Weatherwax, Gytha "Nanny" Ogg/Esmerelda "Granny" Weatherwax
Series: three times they kissed (and one time they didn't) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1362217
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	the last time (hold me close)

"I'm going to die soon," said Granny Weatherwax. It was a sentence rarely spoken with so little distress, but then again, most people didn't have the convenience of forewarning. "Sometime next week, I'd say."

Nanny Ogg took a sip of her tea. It was too hot, and it burned her tongue. "Well then. Should I be settin' up a going away party?"

"Gytha Ogg, don't you go tellin' people," Granny snapped. "I don't like parties, and I don't want people to fuss. I'd rather just slip away quietly, thank you." She rocked quietly in her chair. "I just thought you should know."

Nanny took another sip of tea, this time without burning herself. "Well, I appreciate it."

They sat for a while, letting the sound of the crackling fire fill the room. In the flickering light from the hearth, the harsh lines of Esme's face eased a little, and Gytha's thoughts filled with memory.

"You were always first," she said eventually. "I s'ppose I always knew you'd be the first to go, but…" She trailed off. "Never could picture bein' around for after. It was always the two of us."

Esme said nothing, watching the fire thoughtfully. Gytha stared into the distance, then shook her head. "Well. Any regrets?" She grinned, a wide grin that ought to have been locked up for the sake of public decency. "Ready to die a virgin? I can fix that, you know."

"Gytha!" Granny glared at her indignantly, but her lips twitched. Nanny laughed. "No. Although I s'ppose that's one thing - dunno that it's a regret, but it's something I never did understand. Even in that other world, where I married Mustrum Ridcully, I didn't really get the appeal."

"Of sex?" Part of her was shocked to hear Esme talk about sex so directly. Though she was a bit less prudish these days, at least when it was just the two of them.

Esme shrugged. "All of it, really. Sex, romance. It's like a dance everyone else knows the steps to but me." Gytha's eyebrows raised, and she elaborated. "Don't get me wrong, that other me liked him, enough to figure out how to stumble along. But it never really made sense to her, and s'not like she enjoyed the dance for its own sake." She bit into a biscuit.

"Does it bother you?" Gytha asked. It would bother her.

She shook her head. "Only because I hate not knowin' things. Like I said, s'not like I enjoy dancing anyways." She took a sip of her tea, then gave Gytha a look. "Besides, you always seemed happy to take that side of things. Courting an' motherhood an' all that." She sniffed. "Figured it'd do you good to have something I wasn't better than you at."

Nanny Ogg rolled her eyes. "You weren't better at everything, thank you very much."

The door creaked open slightly, and You trotted in. She pointedly ignored Greebo, who stirred from his nap to flick an ear at her, and jumped right into Granny Weatherwax's lap. The old witch grumbled, but pet her readily enough.

"It's hard to imagine a world without you in it," Gytha said quietly. She knew Esme hated sentimentality, but if there was ever a time for it…

Granny Weatherwax didn't call her a sap. Instead she sighed, rocking gently in her chair, and scratched under You's raised chin. "The world will keep on spinning, Gytha. Things will find a new order, I don't doubt. And you'll be there to help it settle."

She nodded. She would at least stick around long enough for that. It wasn't her time yet.

"The world will be fine, I know," she said at last. "I don't know that I will."

Esme looked almost surprised. "But you've plenty of people!"

She set her tea down. "It's always been the two of us, Esme. I've spent my whole life in your shadow, and there's nowhere else I'd rather be."

Esme blinked. "Gytha - an' I'm only saying this because I'm dying soon anyways, don't you go spreading it around, but - you do know you're as good a witch as I am?"

"I can't believe you just said that," Gytha said, grinning.

Esme glared at her. "I know what's in front of my nose, Gytha."

She chuckled. "I can't believe it. But yes, I do know. That's not what I meant." She frowned into her teacup, trying to find the right words. "It's… it's about balance, is all." People went to Nanny for births, to Granny for deaths. Nanny was liked, Granny was respected. Nanny was nice, Granny was not - unless you knew them well enough to know that maybe it was the other way around. Esme nodded. "And I know there'll be a new balance. But on a personal level, well, it gets to you. I've spent most of my life bein' your counterpart." She shrugged. "An' I know that's not all I've been, I've been a lot of things to a lot of different people, most of which had nothin' do to with you. But that's the role I've had for the very longest."

Esme scratched behind You's ears. "You'll be alright, though," she said. It wasn't a question. "You've plenty of friends and family. An' I know you can deal with loss, you've been widowed three times."

Gytha snorted. "Well that's not a comparison, 'course husbands are temporary." Esme raised an eyebrow, and she huffed defensively. "They're just men, they're not important."

Granny Weatherwax's eyes widened.

"What?" Nanny Ogg looked down at herself, her view blocked by the enormous shelf of her bosom. "Did I spill tea down my chest or somethin'?"

"So it's like that, is it," Esme murmured. She gave Gytha a Look.

Now, Nanny Ogg knew that Look very well; it was most frequently inflicted on people Esme suspected to be hiding something, or otherwise being suspicious. She'd been on the receiving end of it once or twice, and though it was never a pleasant experience, nothing much had come of it. People trying to search Nanny's soul tended to give up rather quickly due to the sheer overwhelming clutter - nothing was hidden except what was in plain sight.

But Esme had a hunch. And now that she knew what she was looking for, she found it everywhere: on the walls, the ceiling, the drapes, every square inch of the warm, overflowing chaos of Gytha's heart.

"After all this time…?"

Esme watched as Gytha's words died on her lips.

"Did you ever kiss another woman?"

Gytha swallowed, then shook her head. "Women aren't for playing," she said finally. She looked into her teacup, eyes glittering in the firelight. She looked - oddly peaceful, if as serious as Esme had ever seen her. "It was only ever you, Esme. You're the only one who mattered."

"Oh," Esme said. She didn't know what to do with this. It didn't change anything, after all, but it was - a little sad. "Do you ever wish things were different?"

Nanny Ogg shook her head again. "Wouldn't change a thing. I'd never ask for you to be any different, and 's not like I've been pining away." She looked at Esme and smiled. It wasn't her usual broad grin, but something much more small and gentle. "You're just the most important person in my life, is all. And I should think you knew that already."

You yawned hugely, stretched, and jumped down, picking her way across Granny's floor. Esme watched the cat until the tip of her tail had disappeared out the front door, then stood up. She walked over to her oldest friend and opened her arms.

Nanny squinted at her. "What're you doing?"

Esme huffed. "Giving you a hug, you daft old thing," she said.

Gytha grinned - her big, toothy grin, the one that made her look like a friendly pumpkin - and stood up. She wrapped Esme up in a massive hug, squeezing her in close without knocking the breath out of her.

It has been said that Nanny Ogg gives the best hugs on the Disc, and although Granny Weatherwax wasn't generally a fan of physical affection, even she would have to agree. They were warm and enveloping, aided by a generous supply of squishiness, with just the right amount of squeeze and an impeccable sense of timing. In her arms, everything would be alright. In her arms, you were loved. Nanny Ogg's hugs wrapped you up tight in a blanket of safety and love that recalled the hazy memories of infancy, of being cradled in your mother's arms, of the warm dark waters of the womb.

This was, of course, exactly why Granny Weatherwax so rarely accepted her hugs.

Gytha breathed in the familiar smells of dirt and goat and beeswax, etching every moment deep in her memory with the knowledge this would be the last. She wrapped her friend up tight with all the love and worry she knew she could never say aloud, made no attempt to melt her icy pride or steel spine, and let go before Esme's pride could protest too much.

"You're the most important to me too, you know," Esme said as she turned away, so quietly Gytha barely heard. "Not that there's anyone else in the running."

"I know."

Still, it was nice to hear her say it.

"So. I'll be keepin' an eye on that Tiffany Aching then, shall I?"

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that's it for this series! Sorry it took me so long to finish, I kind of ran out of steam on it earlier. I'm really happy with how this last chapter turned out, though! I'm still not confident in the character voicing - these two don't normally talk about their feelings, so I've been having a hard time making them sound in character for this - but I feel like it turned out okay at least.


End file.
